How to Avoid these Three Parenting Traps | The Brilliance Mine

How to Avoid these Three Parenting Traps

Parenting is probably the hardest thing we will ever do in our life. Here are three traps to avoid and one idea to aspire to.

This nugget is about how to avoid these three parenting traps. If only it were that easy! 

I wanted to relate something to you that I just heard from Jeff Brown, the principal of the ninth grade of Flower Mount High School in Texas. He talked to us about the three different types of parents he has observed over the years. 

The Helicopter Parent

The helicopter parent hovers over everything the kids are doing. Of course, we’re all concerned about how our kids are doing, how they will turn out, what grades they might be getting, etc. But helicopter parenting doesn’t give enough room for the kid to build their independence

The Bulldozer

The bulldozer type of parent wants to flatten the path and remove all obstacles for the child. When you think about it, that is also not a sustainable practice. You’re not going to be there forever to move all the rocks out of the way. The child has to learn how to deal with obstacles

The Velcro

Then there’s the velcro parent. You can imagine the bond doesn’t come apart very easily. If you feel very attached to your child, you might be a velcro parent.

A Little Confession

Now there is a little confession. At various times, I’ve been any one of those three. Let’s be honest: It’s hard not to at times.

The Guardrail

The recommended style of parenting that Jeff Braun was talking about is the guardrail. The kid drives the car and steers on their own. If the kid is about to fall off the cliff, the parents act as a guardrail.

That’s my nugget for today. Parenting is way harder than business. The stakes and the attachment are incredibly high. All one can do is keep learning, keep experimenting, and do your best. 

I like the guardrail idea. 

I’m Curious

  • What kind of parent are you?
  • If your kid’s already growing up, how was that experience for you? 

I’d love to hear about it.

Live Brilliantly,

Dr. Stephie

P.S.: I appreciate you commenting and sharing this Brilliance Nugget with others. Thank you!

Stephie Althouse

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